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Queen Jadis vs Maleficent
Queen Jadis vs Maleficent 'is a What if? episode of Death Battle. Description ''Narnia vs Sleeping Beauty. Two of the most powerful witches in fictional history go head-to-head in an all-or-nothing Death Battle! Interlude Wiz: The concept of a wicked witch appearing as the main antagonist of a fairy tale has existed for as long as mankind has told stories. '''Boomstick: Like Queen Jadis, the White Witch... Wiz: And Maleficent, the Disney personification of evil Boomstick: He's Wiz, and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out which of these beastly beldams and find out who would win a Death Battle. Queen Jadis Boomstick: There are many dimensions and galaxies out there, but few can rival the cruelty and badassery of Charn - the planet of sorcerers. Wiz: The Royal Family of Charn are ancient and renowned for being extremely powerful practitioners of magic. They were also enormously arrogant and obsessed with power. But the one who trumped them all in power and ambition: Jadis, the Terror of Charn. Boomstick: Jadis was born as the final descendant of the Royal Family. She grew up over the centuries - that's right, centuries - to become one of the meanest bitches to walk the planet. Wiz: Her lust for power drove her to incredible lengths, and she drove to extents that few would be ballsy enough to do so. Soon, her ambition brought her into crossfire with her older sister. The two of them both believed that they had the right to rule Charn, and it was this argument that sparked a really, really, really long and extremely bloody and destructive war that spanned for centuries. Interestingly, Jadis and her sister both vowed that, just for the sake of fair play, neither of them would use their vast magical powers to, in any way, aid either side in battle. Boomstick: But, being the embodiment of ultimate evil and all, Jadis tried it anyway. Wiz: Jadis claims that her sister drove her to it, but the honesty of this claim is really debatable. Jadis fought the war to the last man and the last drop of blood, and only when her sister wiped out her army and cornered her in her castle, face to face, did the true showdown break out. Her sister raised her sword and shouted 'I win!' Boomstick: To which Jadis spoke a magical curse known as the Deplorable Word and single-handedly wiped out every single living being on Charn, except for herself - Christ, that's dedication. Wiz: There was just one problem... Boomstick: She had nobody to rule, because she'd wiped everybody out! Wiz: But this wasn't really a problem for very long: she simply put herself in suspended animation until such time that another life form entered the realm of Charn - this is a profound demonstration of her genius, since the only way another being could enter Charn is through a portal from another world, thus providing Jadis with another realm to rule. This is how she came to Earth, and later Narnia. Boomstick: And the moment she landed in Narnia, she started causing trouble. She ate an apple from an ancient tree known as the Tree of Youth, whose fruit will immediately induce inexhaustible superhuman physical prowess and complete immortality. It greatly enhanced her naturally superhuman strength. Damn! Where is this tree, I need to find it? I want to live in a time where spaceships and lightsabers are a thing! Wiz: Never gonna happen. Nevertheless, this immortality came with an enormous price: she would never know peace or happiness, only misery, and because she was now immortal, that meant that her misery would never end. And it was only after eating the fruit that its presence became a horror to her, repelling her and keeping her away for centuries to come. Boomstick: But Jadis soon came back with a vengeance! Centuries later, she invaded Narnia with an enormous army whilst the king of Narnia, Aslan... Wiz: For the record, Aslan is a powerful omnipotent and omnimiscient lion and the ultimate personification of good in Narnia, and thus Jadis' opposite and archenemy. Boomstick: ...was on holiday. She immediately induced a terrible curse on Narnia... Tumnus: the White Witch. She's the one who made it always winter, always cold, she gave orders... Wiz: Jadis induced the whole of Narnia with an eternal winter, making her even more powerful than ever before and earning her the name The White Witch. Boomstick: Holy f*ck, that's racist! Wiz: She used her enormous army of evil creatures, such as giants, dryads, hags, Minotaurs, goblins, ghouls, and more demons from hell... Boomstick: And her secret police consisted of wolves. F*cking wolves! Wiz:...to plunge Narnia into tyranny, and henceforth reigned supreme for over one hundred years. Boomstick: Excuse me, I'm still trying to get my head around the idea of a police force consistent of f*ing wolves! What has happened to today's police force that made it devolve so badly. Wolves would be so much easier to outrun if your trying to escape from a bank vault, on a cunicycle, firing into the ranks of bank guards with a BB gun, slurping a Pepsi through a straw, and veering into a river at 95 miles per hour. Don't ask. Wiz: (Slowly) However, there was a prophecy... Boomstick: This is fantasy! When is there ''never!'' Wiz: that two human boys and two human girls would enter Narnia, defeat Jadis, and restore peace to Narnia. Upon hearing this prophecy, typical of a fantasy story villain, she set about doing everything in her power to prevent the prophecy from happening: any human who is found in Narnia is to be turned over to her, so that she can personally kill them. However, a hundred years into her chaotic reign, two boys and two girls entered Narnia and the ultimate battle for Narnia began. Boomstick: Fortunately, Jadis is no weak little coward, herself. Wiz: Jadis is an incredibly powerful and highly skilled sorceress, and possesses a stupendous array of magical powers: she can read and control minds, blast objects to smithereens, create and control ice and snow, create snowstorms and hurricanes, levitate objects with her mind, transform people into animals, and turn people to stone using her trademark wand. She also possesses superhuman strength, speed, durability and so on. Plus, whenever she enters a new world, all of her powers - except for the strength and speed and so forth - are nullified and she has to start afresh. This doesn't pose a problem, since she still gradually becomes a supremely powerful sorceress by the time she appears in the second book. Another power she always retains no matter what world she inhabits is her hypnotic power over men. Boomstick: Damnit! I had no idea she was such a black widow. Wiz: Jadis is also formidable even without her magical powers: she is also an incredibly skilled swordsman and an impeccably proficient in hand-to-hand combat, able to deliver devastating kicks and blows. Shows the climactic duel between Peter Pevensie and Jadis at the end of ''The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. '''Boomstick: Holy crap, that was cool. She is such a badass!' Wiz: However, when faced with Aslan, she is completely vulnerable, as shown when Aslan finally manages to destroy her. Shows Aslan leaping on the Witch and killing her. Boomstick: Jesus Christ, that was awesome! Wiz: Jadis is extremely intelligent, cunning and a ridiculously adept manipulator. She is capable of manipulating the stakes of any situation around. She is also perfectly able to turn any scenario in her own favor. Boomstick: She is also one callous, all-powerful jerk. Wiz: She has absolutely no conscience and is fully willing to commit genocide, maybe even omnicide, in pursuit of her goals. Boomstick: Jesus Christ, she's extreme. Wiz: Jadis's main role in the story is being the epitomy of evil, the opposite of the great lion Aslan, but also something a great deal more important: the protagonists in the Narnia books are supposed to be intrigued and brought briefly to her side, then to be horrified by the things she can and will do, and sometimes to suffer at her hands, before they realise her true nature and move against her. This means that her purpose is also that of Satan: corruption, deceit, manipulation and psychopathic cruelty. Boomstick: But not everybody is gullible enough to fall for her badass magical might. Wiz: Appropriately enough, all of her powers and skills are nullified when faced with Aslan. No matter what atrocities she commits in Narnia, Aslan will always be there to upturn them. However, even after Aslan killed her, she lived on in another world because she is, effectively, immortal. She keeps propping up in ghost form and causing mayhem all over the universe, like the Devil himself. Boomstick: Jadis is one fierce hag. Jadis: I have no interest in prisoners. Kill them all. Maleficent Wiz: The unnamed fictional Kingdom was blessed with a king and queen, and now a beautiful baby daughter. Everybody rejoiced, and brought their praise to the palace to see the newborn baby with their own eyes. However, there was one being who did not receive an invitation... Maleficent appears in flames at the start of the movie ''Sleeping Beauty '''Boomstick: May-Lee Fishent....Male Fickent...May-Lee Feickent...screw it!' Wiz:Maleficent. ''The evil fairy and the ultimate display of cruelty and malice. '''Boomstick: And, ''boy, was she pissed off at not receiving an invitation. Driven mad by vengeance, Maleficent inflicted one hell of a curse.' ''Maleficent: The princess will, indeed, grow in grace and beauty. Be loved by all who know her...''but, before the sun sets on her sixteenth birthday, she shall prick her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel...and die! Wiz: And thus started one long-drawn-out manhunt for Maleficent, but the princess, in the meantime, was driven into hiding by her father so that Maleficent couldn't kill her. '''Boomstick: And all of the spinning wheels in the Kingdom were collected and burned...Jesus, that'll make textiles really freaking hard!' Wiz: Whilst the kingdom's clothes production systems fall to pieces, Maleficent herself started to manhunt the princess with her secret police of goblins and her pet crow, Diablo. Boomstick: Maleficent not only comes head-to-toe with weaponry and insane magical powers, but she is also one of the coolest-looking Disney characters of all time. Just looking at her strikes fear into even the most hardcore of heroes. Wiz: Although Maleficent is ''capable of fear, she seldom shows this - she will charge head-first into battle with no hesitation, provided all of her other forces have been spent first. '''Boomstick: But Maleficent isn't much of a coward without her minions. She is one of the most badass and powerful characters in Disney history. She can shoot lightning from her trademark staff, create storms, conjure enormous forests of thorns out of thin air, travel through the air at supersonic speeds in a freaking fireball, look into the future, teleport, create fire, control animals, read minds, conjure frost storms out of thin air, turn people to stone, create illusions of the future and control objects with her mind. Ho-ly crap!' Wiz: But none of these incredible powers are in any way competition to her most famous talent of all... Maleficent spreads her arms and transforms into an enormous, fire-breathing dragon. Boomstick: She can transform into dragons too? Awesome! ''Maybe I ''should look into this whole magic thing, it'll save me money on bus fares and airport passes. Wiz: You'r an idiot, Boomstick. Anyway, when she transforms into a dragon, Maleficent gains incredible strength, and the ability to breathe green fire so potent that it melts absolutely anything on contact and is so strong that thunder can be heard when she breathes that fire. Boomstick: She is a human/fairy/dragon freaking supernova! Wiz: Her fire is so powerful it destroys entire bridges of stone, and dissolves every single tree it touches in a matter of seconds. This means that either there is another type of incredibly powerful energy in her fire, or the flames statistically reach minimum temperatures of over 40,000 degrees Celsius. Boomstick: Jesus Christ! How does she hold that in her stomach without getting some really fierce cramps? Wiz: Boomstick, this is a kid's fantasy Disney movie with dragons and witches and elves and fairies and princesses. I don't think there's much point in being too logical, or gross, about what happens in this film... Boomstick: You've obviously never seen Game of Thrones...''or ''Clash of the Titans...or any 21st-century fantasy film or tv series worth watching. Wiz: Shut your trap, Boomstick. Anyway, Her jaw strength is so powerful it creates sonic booms when she snaps her teeth shut. Also, she is enormously durable and can only be harmed by weapons induced with extremely powerful enchantments. Boomstick: But, being a badass, Maleficent will try and destroy her enemies even after being fatally wounded. Wiz: Which she did during one fateful battle against Prince Phillip, in which she easily overpowered all but one of his weapons, until Philip impaled her through the chest. Boomstick: Hell, Maleficent was so evil that, when she landed from her fall, all that was left of her was a huge black stain and the Sword of Truth, whose blade was becoming black and infected from the sheer evilness of Maleficent's character. Damn! Way to send a message, Disney. Wiz: Maleficent is cunning, sly and devoid of conscience or compassion. She is capable of enormously violent and aggressive mood swings that make her incredibly unpredictable - in fact, the angrier she gets, the more powerful she becomes. And this makes Maleficent one of the most evil creatures in the Disney universe... Maleficent: Now shall you deall with me, O Prince, and all the powers of Hell! Prelude Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle! Fight Jadis's ice palace, surrounded by a plain of snowy mountains, stands alongside Maleficent's lair, which is surrounded by a pitch-black forest of jagged-clawed trees, with lightning flashing in the background. A small group of Maleficent's minions scour through the forest and cross the border between the two territories, and a group of grey wolves appear out of nowhere, circling the group and growling combatively. The leader of the wolves, Maugrim, approaches them. Maugrim: No further, or you'll never step again! Chief goblin: Step aside, you mutt. This is our land! The wolves snarl, and the two groups lunge at each other and an off-screen battle takes place for five seconds, in which the goblins emerge victorious, with the wolves lying in bloody pieces around them. The goblin chief licks the blood off his knife, and looks up, just as the shadow of Jadis looms over them, drawing her wand. Chief goblin: No...no! Jadis's wand slices the air and the goblins scream as they are suddenly turned to stone, frozen in a position where they are trying to run from their attacker. Jadis chuckles. Diablo appears, soaring overhead, and swoops in to claw at Jadis with his feet. Jadis slashes the air again and Diablo is turned to stone - he drops hundreds of feet from the sky and shatters at her feet. Jadis smiles. Maleficent appears at the top of her castle, silhouetted except for the flash of her eyes and the toxic-green orb of her staff Maleficent: Aaaarrrgh! FIGHT! Maleficent spins the staff above her head, making thunderclouds appear and rumble violently. Maleficent then swings her staff down, shooting a vicious bolt of lightning down at Jadis, who holds up her wand to defend herself. The bolt of lightning strikes the very tip of the wand and stays there, with Jadis pointing it directly up at Maleficent. A stream of ice courses from her wand, pushing the lightning back - the result is something extremely similar to the Priori Incantatem in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The combined attacks send flashes of lightning and ice flying everywhere, punching chunks of ice and stone out of the ground. The point of collision between the two attacks gradually approaches Maleficent, and forks of lightning backfire on her castle, slicing through sections of it. As the castle crumbles to the ground, Maleficent crouches and leaps from her perch, spreading her cloak and transforming into a comet, which surges towards Jadis. Jadis backward-somersaults through the air, as Maleficent crash-lands in a ball of green flame. Maleficent watches as Jadis lands cleanly on her feet, aiming with her wand. Maleficent swings her staff, holding it at the base, like a flail and the chunks of stone which are all that remains of her castle power through the air and barrage down on Jadis. Jadis: Pathetic. Moving her wand so incredibly fast that it becomes a golden blur, each strike deflecting and disintegrating an individual chunk of stone. Once all of the stones have become dust, Jadis waves her wand and the dust surrounds Maleficent, blinding her. Maleficent raises her staff and slams the base down on the ground, creating a shockwave which rips through the entire kingdom, pushing the dust hundreds of miles away from her. Jadis staggers back under the shockwave, and Maleficent points her staff, a thin stream of green flame spraying from the orb. Jadis leaps out of the way, but the flame engulfs her palace, melting it into a huge geyser of white water. Jadis spreads her arms at the geyser, and it becomes a tsunami that reaches high above the clouds. Maleficent braces herself as Jadis jabs her arms at her, and the tsunami roars down upon both of them. Jadis summons a reindeer-driven chariot and boards it, shooting out of sight. Maleficent screams as the tsunami engulfs her. After five seconds, she bursts through the surface of the flood and the water dissolves at her feet. The White Witch reappears, dismounting the chariot, which canters out of sight. Maleficent: Did you honestly think it would be so easy? Jadis snarls and lunges, striking at Maleficent with her wand to turn her to stone. Maleficent laughs with derision and swings her staff at Jadis. The orb of her staff snaps the wand in half and Jadis screams with rage, drawing two longswords and attacking in a whirlwind of steel. Maleficent backs away, moving her staff with superb speed to redirect and counter Jadis's attacks. Every time Jadis's and Maleficent's weapons clash, sonic booms and small shockwaves are created. Jadis draws her into the dark forest and Maleficent growls with frustration at her inability to overpower her enemy. Jadis: I was hoping for a challenge. But nobody can undermine the true power of Charn! Maleficent sneers and stabs with the orb of her staff, striking Jadis in the breast. Jadis cries out as she is thrown through the air. Jadis: Rip her apart! Around her, the ice cracks into circles and minotaurs, hags, dwarves, wolves and giants emerge, and charge at Maleficent. Jadis lands several miles away, on her feet, and watch as her army closes in on her enemy. Maleficent: Filthy, dishonourable cheat! I'll show you! She spreads her arms and thunder cracks. In a ball of flame, she transforms into an enormous, black-scaled dragon with demonic green eyes. The monster army falters, terrified by the turn of events. Laughing maniacally, Maleficent inhales and then unleashes a storm of green fire from her mouth. Jadis's army take cover, but the trees of the forest are incinerated in the flames. Maleficent's tail thrashes and she turns her head, turning her fire in a circle. The fire melts the army into black slime. In a green-burning forest, Maleficent rears her head triumphantly, before launching herself into the air and flying towards Jadis. Jadis: Well, this is interesting. Maleficent lowers her head and rockets down on Jadis, sending a green fireball flying at Jadis, who sheaths her swords and waves her arms, conjuring a spherical shield of ice around her. The flames wrap around the shield, which holds fast and continues to reform as some of it gradually melts into water around her. Maleficent closes in on Jadis, opens her jaws and snaps them shut on the sphere of ice. Jadis disappears inside Maleficent's mouth. Maleficent clamps her mouth shut as Jadis, unseen, punches at the inside of her jaws. After three shockwave-inducing attacks inside Maleficent, Jadis smashes through the dragon's teeth, flies out and turns around to cast another spell. Maleficent turns, crying out in pain as her spear-sized teeth clatter to the ground. Maleficent's huge tail smashes into Jadis, sending her shooting several hundred feet, smashing into a mountain and cracking right through it, before doing the same to two other mountains. These mountains crumble to rubble and Jadis struggles to her feet. Laughing, Maleficent waves her head and spits flames into the air, triumphant. Jadis reappears behind Maleficent, clutching her side and limping weakly towards the dragon. Jadis: You brought this on yourself, you pesky lizard! She spreads her arms, standing up to full height...and speaks the Deplorable Word. Everything goes entirely silent. Maleficent stops moving, then turns, letting out a long-drawn-out scream of pain, and plummets downwards. As she descends, she makes one last attempt at snapping her jaws over Jadis, misses and hits the ground, dead. Jadis studies the body silently, then turns sighs. Then she mutters an incantation and immediately freezes, standing bolt upright, in suspended animation, awaiting for the next person to come and bring her a new kingdom to rule. KO! Results Boomstick: Holy shit, that was awesome! Wiz: Both Jadis and Maleficent possessed incredible magical powers, but in the end Jadis would come out on top for sheer diversity and higher intelligence. Boomstick: You'd think that the whole fire-breathing dragon would be enough, but Jadis has battled such beasts before. Wiz: It must be observed that there are two other decisive differences between these two opponents: Maleficent has a soft spot for her crow, repeat her crow, and reacts vengefully when the crow is killed off. In contrast, Jadis has absolutely no conscience whatsoever. Boomstick: If you are willing to single-handedly wipe out every life form on your home planet, including your irritating bitch of a sister, then you've got to be pretty stone-cold. Wiz: Eventually, Jadis won because she had the ultimate method of attack: the Deplorable Word. Maleficent, due to being extremely powerful and practically a titan, only had enough life in her to have one last snap at Jadis, but in the end the Deplorable Word overpowered even her. Jadis, with everyone dead, had no choice to repeat history and suspend herself, awaiting the next person unfortunate enough to inflict her upon their world. Boomstick: It was a great fight, but, in the end, Maleficent got wiped out. Wiz: The winner is Queen Jadis! Category:Wizard themed death battles Category:Magic Duel Category:'Battle of the Elements' Themed Death Battles Category:'Disney vs. Warner Bros' themed Death Battles Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:Death Battles with a returning combatant Category:"Rage/Anger" themed Death Battles Category:Ice Duel Category:Dragons themed death battles Category:Angela hallam